My aunt recently lost her husband of 39 years last october. He passed away fast and he left behind 2 kids and a wife. Since last October, my aunt has been living all by herself. Her kids went to Europe to find work and with the goal that when they are financially established, they will have their mom come live with them. Since the death, she has been suffering from a lot of things: depression, insomnia, anxiety attacks on top of other health conditions she had. After talking to her recently, I found that my other uncles and aunts are too busy in their own lives having fun to even pay attention to her when she really needs help. She can't seem to be able to sleep at night and she walks to her sister's place to be able to just have one night of sleep. My uncles tend to not like that and have said mean things to her regarding this. In addition, people have stopped coming to her house. It's as if they feel that her house is possessed. My aunts, her own sisters, told her that they can't take on her responsibilty for fear that their husbands leave them or say something bad to them. Her own brother told her to go and stay with her kids because no one will take her responsibility.
I can understand that people have busy lives and chose not to want to be around her. However, this is a lady who currently is living all by herself and is facing her reality. All she needs is a place to stay at night just so that she can sleep and put her mind to rest. She is in a position where she really would like to be surrounded by people because of loneliness but people would rather spend their weekend camping out by the sea rather than being in her company.
AFter hearing all this, I was torn. I couldnt' understand what is right and what is wrong. Before I would be like: "what is wrong with society? This is your sister for God's sake. Can't you support her until she is stable enough to support herself?" Right now, I am also realizing that we have to face our own desteni ourselves. This is our reality and death is something we will all have to go through at some point. I am grateful that her kids have chosen not to abandon her, but rather be with her and talk to her everyday via skype.
I now realize that in this world, we just need to take 100% responsibility for ourselves. IT seems that there is no one as in no one out there to support you in times like these, at least in her situation.
There aren't even support groups where people can go and talk about their feelings when they need to. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore.
This event has lead me to think again about whether we should live and support one another or whether it is our game and let us just all face our own misery on our own and live just for us? Where is the 'love thy neighbor as ourselves?' in this situation? If we really loved her, why couldn't we just learn to help and support one another?
Hi Kevina, I got the link to your blog through the forum. However I do suggest you still place your writings so that we're able to give feedback there as well. For now the point that you have realized is to take self responsibility for ourselves - each one will be facing what we have accepted and allow in our lives - Through you supporting you = you are able to stand as support for and toward others. However the point is not to create such a confusion around good/bad or what is right or wrong - but become that point that stands as the correction to anything that you might see is 'wrong' in our world and reality.
ReplyDeleteThere are groups of self support, Desteni is one and I suggest to focus on yourself instead of creating all of these experiences based on someone else's life experience. Rather share and continue supporting you so that in time as you establish yourself within the application of you supporting you, you're able to share with others as well.
Thanks and see you at the forums.